Resources

Feelings Buddy is built for working through feelings with self-compassion, toward self-acceptance and self-motivation. A hard feeling is the obstacle, not the destination.

The categories run from what you feel to getting moving again. Start wherever your question is.

Category 1

What is this feeling?

If something is heavy right now, start here. If you've had a loss, start with the last category, "When you've had a loss".

What a hard feeling is, and why it can keep you stuckWhy won't this feeling go away, and why does it keep me stuck?8 min readRead

Category 2

What changed, ended or never happened?

A separation, a job or role, contact with family, your health, a future you wanted. None of it needs a funeral to be real.

Losses nobody sends flowers forHow do I stop judging myself for feeling a loss where nobody died?9 min readReadGrieving someone who is still aliveHow do I accept myself when the feelings about a child who has cut contact keep getting in the way?9 min readRead

Category 3

How do I feel it instead of avoiding it?

Feeling it, a little at a time, with room to rest.

Working through griefDo I have to work through a feeling before I can accept myself and get going again?8 min readReadKeeping busy after a lossHow do I know whether keeping busy is moving me forward or keeping a feeling in the way?9 min readReadThe what-ifsWhat can I do when the what-ifs about something that happened keep holding me back?8 min readRead

Category 4

What does accepting myself look like?

Kindness toward yourself, without letting yourself off the hook. Accepting what happened, and who you are now.

Guilt, shame and the inner criticHow do I accept myself when guilt keeps getting in the way?9 min readReadResentmentCan I accept myself and move on while I still feel resentment?8 min readReadBeing hard on yourselfWhy am I so hard on myself, and is being kinder to myself just letting myself off the hook?9 min readRead

Category 5

How do I get moving again?

One step that is yours, when you are ready for it.

Doing something again when grief or another feeling is in the wayHow do I start doing things again when grief or another feeling keeps getting in the way?8 min readReadLetting people in when feelings are in the wayHow do I let other people help when feelings are in the way?8 min readRead

Category 6

When you've had a loss

If your loss is recent, start here.

What grief is, and what it shares with other feelingsWhy does something that happened hurt this much, and why can it make getting going so hard?10 min readReadAre the five stages of grief real?How do I accept myself when what I feel does not follow the five stages?9 min readRead"Grief comes in waves"How do I accept myself when I feel fine one day and flattened the next?8 min readReadStaying connected to the person who died, and still moving forwardCan I keep a connection to the person who died and still move forward?8 min readReadGrief in the brainHow do I accept a feeling like longing when my mind keeps reaching for someone?8 min readReadAccepting yourself without a reasonDo I need a reason for what happened before I can accept myself?8 min readReadGrieving differently from everyone elseHow do I accept myself when my feelings look different from everyone else's?9 min readRead